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Saturday, January 16, 2010

A New Juice Maker !!!! Sounds innocent enough .. ha!

Our lives here in Timmins is fairly easy going and its a simple life, were young retired people, we can think and we do make good decisions for ourselves but this juicer was the worst mistake we have made in a long long while.....actually it was NOT my decision it was my wonderful hubby's !!

OHHHHH he meant well enough, we eat a lot of fruit here instead of junk and he thought he would make our lives a tad bit more exciting and have fresh juice in the morning !
Sounds delish and easy dosen't it !
Fresh orange juice who dosen't like that ?? And fresh apple juice, yum just hearing that makes my mouth water for it !!
Well things are not that easy !!!!!!

He started off by making orange juice , lets do the math here.... one container of Tropicana Orange Juice is $ 2.99 and my wonderful hubby bought $15.00 worth of all sorts of oranges even blood oranges to make our juice .
Ok I will say in his defence.....
Think of it as really really fresh orange juice, isin't that worth the extra money for fresh tasting juice ??
BUT >>>>>>>>> But the end result was 3/4 of a container of juice and a huge bowl full of pulp and an ~ultra sticky~ table and all sorts of sticky utensils and assorted bowls etc.. kinda strewn all over the place (( No he does not do dishes ))
BUT>>>> Voila the fresh juice....... yes it was tasty .... I didn't get even a spoonful, it was all gone by the time I did all those sticky dishes remember those ????... not a drop of juice left ....not a one !!!
That's ok I dont mind, its good for them RIGHT !!!
Today it was apple juice time, hubby decided to do this while I was writing out the minutes of a meeting for a club I am secretary for..... nope he can't wait he wants to do it right now he says because he is bored ( remind me to find him a hobby ok) he bought bags and bags of all kinds of apples to make juice he wanted to see which one would be juicier....
He washed each apple (good boy) and then cuts them up in small sections so far so good right.... this is when I decided I better go see what he was up to.... ((( it got too quiet ... know what I mean?)))
He was ready to begin....... did you know it takes a lot of apples to get a cup full of juice? And did you know it leaves behind a huge amount of pulp and skin ??

Math again ok humour me ...for a tin of Rougemont Pure Apple Juice its hummmmm $.99 , yes ninety nine cents only not even on sale ........sigh.......
After his first batch of juice ( about a cup and a half) he had to clean the machine, it was not allowing the juice to escape through the pulp and skin etc.. so he takes the darn thing apart , ok picture this in your mind....... gobs of apple pulp and sticky juice all over the table all over everything .... yes ladies he is messy and not the handiest in the kitchen but he is trying and I might add getting frustrated now....( cuz I am just sitting there watching.. kinda smiling too... nooo not smirking I would never do that(( not much anyway))

OK so now he is ready for the second batch everything has been emptied of pulp and rinsed he puts it together ( ( apparently women are not allowed to touch things when a man is working ........... hehe))

Somehow only God could figure this one out its such a mystery I am sure he put something in backwards and where the juice was suppose to come out nada zip it was allllll coming out in the pulp resevoir of the machine,and he just proceeds anyway pretending not to notice but I know he sees the mistake................... he gets a strainer and another huge bowl ( Only 3 bowls are already in service for the juice) and strained the pulpy mess in the strainer to extract the juice... at this point I want to pull out my hair one strand at a time I kid you NOT !!

I decided to take over !! (( My sanity was at stake)) He never said one word as he noticed what I was doing,just had this big silly grin on his face !
I took the other 2 big bowls of prepared fruit and pared off the skin and made one big pot of applesauce.For some strange reason the applesauce was so dry here is the halarious part ok are you ready for it >>>>> I had to add apple juice !!! >>>Almost half the container of Rougemont Pure Apple Juice !!!!!!!!! I am not kidding!!!!!

Then I washed and dried dishes and his machine took me almost an hour, while watching the apple sauce, after that I had a hankering for a sour cream walnut coffee cake, I made that and declared my day done !
I could not wait to go make myself a hot tea and relax.

He still has not said a word about the juice but looks at me now and again with that big silly grin .. as he totally knows what I am thinking he knows me so well.
Yes I still love him and I will keep him but no more juice.... or your on your own !!


Nola @ the Alamo said...

LMAO! Oh, honey, ya'll need to go out for a cuppa coffee! That sounds like life at my house; even if it's just a piece of dry toast, the WHOLE kitchen is a wreck. On the positive side, could you use the pulp for baking muffins or something? I know they use applesauce instead of oil in some baking, for lowfat recipes. Just a suggestion. I HOPE YOU DON"T ACCCIDENTALLY DROP AND BREAK THE JUICER! (WINK, WINK)

Needled Mom said...

We were given one of those monsters years ago and it is exactly as you describe....a disaster! We have all the fresh oranges in our yard, but the cleanup of that beast (and the mess) is ridiculous!! I'll take a plain old juicer ANY DAY!!!!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

This was soooo cute! I had a big silly grin on my face while I was reading about this adventure! This sure sounds like one of those gadgets that makes life more difficult instead of easier, and just takes up space in the cabinet! Can you tell I've tried a few of those types of gadgets? Enjoy your applesauce! laurie

Lib said...

If its any comfort lol Samething happened to us some yrs. back! NO more juicer here!
HAve agreat day!

Bella Della said...

Oh goodness. So funny. I will stick to store bought ;)

Hope you are doing well and having a good weekend.


Aunt Amelia's Attic said...


But isn't it wonnnnnnnnderful that it was his idea, and not yours? ,-)

Anonymous said...

Vicki's sister here. Yes, I too, ordered one of those juicers. The one advertised by a world renowned fellow who is probably 90 or so now and still swims across rivers. You probably know the one I'm speaking of. It was a total disaster, too. I returned the thing and got my money back, and it wasn't cheap.There should be a law to protect folks against false presentations such as these.

artis1111 said...

This was so cute. You need to start him a blog. That will keep him busy. MAYBE hehe Kathy

Barb said...

I haven't laughed so hard for days!! I could picture it all in my head . . . oh my! I know your dilemma, I too, made the mistake of getting my husband a juicer (he thought he could look like Jack LaLane)and we, or should I say I, have only used it a couple of times to make . . . . apple juice! Thanks for the laugh!

Sharon said...

That was so funny. I know what you mean about the monster. We now buy juice when we want it. Less mess.
Thanks for sharing it this am.


walnut sour cream coffee cake I want some (:) Oh this juicer post is toooo funny Diane..LOL loved it..
have a good day ok..
hugs, Patty

SmilingSally said...

Kiss the man and pour him a glass of juice, right out of the container! said...

Wow, thanks for this post! My son and I were just saying we wanted a juicer. Now, I know that I don't at all!!!!!!

BetteJo said...

Oh my gosh! I have thought about buying a juicer from time to time - they look so easy on TV, right? But if it's not simple and quick cleanup, it is NOT for me!

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

marion said...

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